Small Spaces, Big Ideas

An interview with Jolene Streiff, Founder of Designing Life, LLC

The transition from campus living to a grown-up life-style requires many changes─clothes, makeup, and not least, one’s living space. The young and sometimes not-so-young can often find themselves surrounded by a bewildering and disparate array of hand-me-downs, orphan furniture left by departed roommates, and well-used campus gear. And that first apartment─shared or not, is usually, well, small. We asked Jolene Streiff, Founder of Designing Life, LLC, for her best tips on living small, and on decorating your first home.

In a small living room (which may or may not double as a sleeping space), what is the single most important piece of furniture to replace?

The living room is a semi-public space where friends and visiting family gather to converse and relax. For this reason, the most important piece of furniture is the sofa. Proper seating for friends means a sofa, not a kitchen chair. The sofa alone can “make” the room. Nice hard wood floors, a great sisal rug, and a tuxedo style sofa are about all you need. Pull up a leather ottoman, add a serving tray to set your wine glass on and you’re set for visitors. If your living room also serves as a bedroom, you may want to invest in a sofa bed that has clean, modern lines. A good quality sofa is an investment, but it’s worth spending the money because it’s the piece that gets heavy use and it needs to stand up to many a party.

How can disparate styles of furniture be unified, if they cannot all be replaced at once? 

First of all, it’s important to have dissimilar pieces of furniture. How you mix pieces that may not perfectly match is where an eye for design is needed. The way you connect different pieces of furniture is not in the style of the piece per se but in the elements of that piece: color, texture, size and how it takes up the space in a room. Pieces that don’t seem to match can look perfect if the placement is spot on and the piece makes some connection with the accessories and artwork throughout the room. What will never look right are damaged, uncared for pieces that need to be dumped on the street. I wouldn’t be too concerned about matching furniture: just look at the rooms in any modern interior design magazine and you will see lots of unlike objects happily co-existing in the same space.

Should I purchase small furniture for a small space? Or is it better to have some larger focal pieces? How does one decide?

Every room should have a focal point and purpose. A great piece of furniture can be the focal point and give definition to the room. That particular statement piece should be noticeable—and that means it would be a good size. But generally, you would choose slightly smaller and fewer pieces in a small room. Measure your room, draw a room layout, and then figure out how big you can go with various pieces. Perhaps one big ottoman will be a better look than two small end tables on the side of the sofa. Be willing to experiment. General rule—go a bit bigger than what you think is appropriate.

How can one change the look of one’s living space to reflect the change of seasons without storage space to keep a lot of seasonal decorations and extra sets of accessories?

The easiest way to change the look to reflect holiday time or a special celebration is through a few accessories. Pillows on a sofa and a sofa throw can be changed twice a year: winter/fall and spring/summer. A collection of white dishes and serving pieces is a great “neutral” background for dressing up a table. A festive holiday centerpiece, and a few smaller dishes in accent colors can give the impression that you are celebrating something special. Pine cones in a big round glass vase could look great on the dining room or kitchen table, then toss the pine cones out and replace with pastel ceramic eggs for Easter. Decorating a mantle with a few sprigs of garland and a few shiny ornaments might do the trick. Hanging festive hand towels in the bathroom is another idea. Just make sure things are clean and in tip top shape. You don’t need much to have people notice there is something special going on.

Paper clutter can quickly overrun a small space. Aside from throwing out junk mail as soon as it arrives, what are your best tips for controlling, containing, and organizing papers?

I suggest a few nice wicker baskets with tops and a file cabinet in a great color. Spend a weekend preparing file folders and putting all those bills and important papers in their own file. I have one good-looking leather box for ALL my receipts. I keep all receipts for a year and then toss and start over. Everything needs a place, the trick is to have a system for getting things there!

Colors that I love but can’t wear, colors that are in style, neutral colors that “go with” everything (but I’m not a neutral kind of person)─how do I chose the best color scheme for my living space?

Don’t be afraid to paint strong/deep colors on your interior walls. Even black walls are very appealing in a home. The main point is to have continuity of color tones between the rooms so that the spaces and the hallways that connect the rooms have a unified color palette. In other words, if you walked around your apartment and peered in each room, would you see homogenous tones of color? Are the tones in the same family: warm or cool tones? Colors in a space should transition effortlessly room to room. If you are doing neutrals, you can do a striking deep taupe or mushroom grey—neutrals do not have to be light colors. If you’re into lots of fun splashes of color, a safe way to show your passion for color is with accessories: pillows or artwork.

I have lots of windows but not lots of money for custom window treatments. What is the best way to ensure privacy and “dress up” my windows on a budget?

Window treatments have come a long way. There are some great floor-length window panels at places like Home Goods, World Market, or Target that are lined and give a look of elegance as well as privacy. Install your curtain rod high—above the window molding and have the rod reach out beyond the sides of the window molding. Hang your drapery panel so it touches the floor and is not too short. The fullness of the panels should be about three times the width of your window. Make sure the curtains are pressed well. Another option is wooden blinds, which can give a nice finished look to a window. There are affordable custom-looking wood blinds at home improvement stores such as Lowes or Home Depot.

My apartment kitchen is small and unbeautiful, with older appliances. How can I make it look homey and bright?

First off, scrub the kitchen down. A good cleaning will make a huge difference. Re-tiling the floor will not cost much if it’s a small space, or get a good size rug to cover ugly flooring. Paint the walls, add a tiled back splash—again, inexpensive if it’s a tiny kitchen. Hang colorful, non-conventional art in the kitchen. Think about installing wall shelves to display a unique assortment of dishes. These accessory tricks will draw your eye away from the old and mundane.

I have one closet for all my clothes, and I can’t afford one of those expensive closet organizing systems. What to do?

If you can rearrange the poles in your closet that hold the hangers, install two poles, one higher, to hold your blouses and tops, and another, lower, one for slacks folded over a hanger. If you can’t do a double clothing rod, utilize a shelf or two above the closet pole. Plastic bins filled with scarves, handbags, and sweaters will look a lot neater than just piling your belongings on the shelf. If plastic bins will fit under your bed, load the bins with seasonal clothing or all your handbags. Hooks over the bedroom and closet doors are a great way to add additional storage.

Is it better to wait until I have enough savings to totally re-do my place, or should I do it little by little? What is the single best thing I can do now to make my place guest-worthy?

Don’t wait to do everything, although you should have a realistic budget if you are serious about redecorating. Before you start purchasing furniture, draperies, and more expensive items, have a fairly complete picture of what you want your room to look like, including paint colors. Plan the design, choosing the type of sofa, chairs, coffee table, bookcase, artwork, wall colors. Making a design board where all your picks are posted helps ensure that everything you are planning to buy goes together and works towards agood design goal. You can always start by painting the room, if it needs it. Then begin your purchases, perhaps starting with the sofa and adding the rug a few months later. Try to get your main pieces in the room first. Then, fillin with accessories from an inexpensive home goods store; these can be upgraded later on when your budget allows. 

The Quest for Self-Identity

By Teresa Carale, MHI President

In one of the most riveting scenes in the musical Les Miserables, Javert apologizes to Jean Valjean (disguised as Monsieur Madeleine, the mayor of the town) for doubting his identity. He informs the mayor that they have caught the escaped criminal, Jean Valjean, and that he is awaiting trial. The real Jean Valjean faces a morally pivotal point, as the song “Who am I?” articulates: “If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned!” What should he do? The song continues, “Who am I? Can I condemn this man to slavery; pretend I do not feel his agony. This innocent who bears my face, who goes to judgment in my place…”

Many go about their daily lives trapped in what seems like a never-ending succession of actions. What should I do next? We often forget why we do these things in the first place. To lead rich, meaningful lives, we have to stop and ponder Jean Valjean’s fundamental question: Who am I? Self-identity is more than mere self-knowledge─of my likes and dislikes, my personality, my strengths and weaknesses. All of these things are important, but they do not define “who I am.” And that is why we allude to it as a quest─of short or long duration.

In the seminar “Resisting the Mentality of ‘Total Work’─in Search of a Fulfilling and Integrated Life,” Dr. Margarita Mooney talked about the danger of defining ourselves based on the product of our work, instead of the process of our work. “We live in the era of what philosopher Josef Pieper called the world of ‘total work’, in which our identity is so tied up with the product of our work that we forget to nurture our contemplative, joyful, and vulnerable sides.” There is wisdom in focusing on the process─how we do our work, and not only the product of our work.  The “how” reveals values, priorities, interpersonal relationships, one’s vision of the world.

Sometimes it helps to ask “what do I want written in my obituary?” That question speaks to who I want to be. And the answer to that question guides our quest for self-identity, and frames our actions and decisions accordingly─in our personal and professional lives, in our families, in society, in the world at large. “Who am I” determines how I speak, how I dress, how I relate to others, how I behave in the workplace and in social situations. There is integrity and the consequent interior peace when words, thoughts and actions are consistent with one’s identity. Authenticity is a quality that is valued in all situations, just as duplicity is decried.

It is worthwhile to embark or continue on this quest for self-identity. Only thus can we be effective protagonists in transforming the world and making it a better place.

Review of Self-Esteem without Selfishness: Increasing Our Capacity for Love

By Alice Trimmer

Self-doubt, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-loathing—it is essential to have a good relationship with oneself in order to function well in life and to establish healthy relationships with others. But how does one develop self-esteem without going overboard and becoming an egoist? This is the question that is exhaustively explored in Michel Esparza’s book Self-Esteem without Selfishness, published in Spain in 2010, and recently made available in an excellent English translation by Devra Torres (Scepter Press, 2013).

This topic will be familiar to devotees of self-help books, but Esparaza’s solution is no quick fix. Esperza describes the balance between arrogance and the kind of false humility that saps initiative as “humble self-esteem,” and he makes it clear that the effort to achieve this balance is one that necessarily has to last a lifetime.

The book is divided into two parts:  Part 1 “Pride and Its Difficulties” explores the twisted nature of the situations we can get into through a misunderstanding of how to view ourselves. Part 2 “Towards a Definitive Solution” sets out in depth a way to develop “humble self-esteem” and in the process, enjoy a happy life. Esparza is a Catholic priest, so it is no surprise that his solution involves a deep spiritual journey. He also holds a medical degree and thus is well equipped to explore his topic from a wide variety of perspectives: physical, psychological, and emotional. One of the pleasures of the book is the wealth of quotations from literature and philosophy that he employs to illustrate his points. Although this book is written from a Catholic perspective, the author approaches his topic in a way that people of all faiths can understand, and all can certainly benefit from the insights offered. 

The subtitle of the book, “Increasing our Capacity for Love” gives a clue to the basic premise—that a rightly ordered love of self is the first step in enabling ourselves to give to others, whether in a romantic relationship or through the love of friendship. Drawing on classical philosophy, Esparza gives a lucid account of the different kinds of love as well as tips on how to navigate one’s way toward self-giving. His insights on the differences in communication styles between men and women, and the connection that these differences have with needs, understanding, and trust, are clear and incisive, and can be profitably employed in the workplace as well as in family life.

The search for the right kind of self-esteem is of particular interest to young people, as they seek to answer the question “What kind of person do I want to be?” At Rosedale, the educational center in the Bronx where I work, the Program Directors used excerpts from Chapter 1 as part of our fall volunteer training. Both the high school and college students found it refreshing, understandable, and engaging, and the readings led to many fruitful discussions.

Alice Trimmer is on the Board at Murray Hill Institute and is the Director of Rosedale Center for Girls in the Bronx.

Developing a Voice Through Assertiveness

By Jenny Chen

Recently, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella enraged the public by saying that women should not ask for raises, but let faith dictate their compensation. Though controversial, his statement serves as a wake-up call to the community that women clearly do not enjoy the same rights as men and more needs to be done to promote gender equality in the workplace. A previous Carnegie Mellon study on graduates with a master’s degree shows that despite a growing number of women graduating from college, women still make on average 7.6% less than men, in part due to their fear of speaking up. As I have learned from the MHI mentoring program, effective communication, especially assertiveness, is key to developing a voice and building a successful and fulfilling career. As a young, professional Asian woman working in a competitive, predominantly male industry, learning to communicate assertively has been a difficult, but necessary, challenge. A person with my profile is generally expected to obey authority, be polite, accommodating, and non-aggressive. While assertiveness is often confused with aggressiveness, the two differ greatly. Communicating assertively is neither forceful nor confrontational, but rather, direct, honest and respectful with the goal of a win-win outcome. Specifically, being assertive means actively managing my job rather than passively accepting all tasks which eventually result in excessive stress, burn out, and overall dissatisfaction with my work life.

To better manage my workload and my peers, I began to express my preferences, opinions and needs. I started speaking up during meetings, better setting expectations, and actively negotiating workload among my colleagues that had availability. Speaking up has opened up a communication channel between me and my team, and as a result, not only am I more relieved but my entire team is more successful.

While I still work the occasional late night and weekend, I am more prepared for them and feel better knowing that I actively participated in the dialogue. Part of the process was understanding myself and acknowledging my needs and limitations, as well as developing confidence and self-esteem to stand up for what matters. This also meant relinquishing the guilt of being selfish and not accommodating everybody's requests. To my surprise, my colleagues did not reject or criticize my needs, but rather, took them seriously and found the feedback to be valuable. I am humbled by their understanding, and realize that voicing my opinions and concerns is not about going against authority, but about promoting effectiveness on the job, a healthy work-life balance, and mutually beneficial relationships with my colleagues. A day after making his statement, Nadella recanted his words, and said that women should ask for raises. Whether sincere or not, statements like these help spark dialogue in the community and are beneficial for women as we continue to find our voice in the workplace. Furthermore, programs like the ones Murray Hill Institute offers will continue to equip women with the skills needed to better close the inequality gap. As long as we continue to forge ahead assertively and with greater confidence, we will continue to strengthen our relationships with our male counterparts and work towards gender equality for the well-being of all.

Jenny Chen is a diversified industries corporate banker.

In Praise of The Hobbit

By Gabriela Kustner

“Prediction is dangerous: but The Hobbit may well prove a classic.” So wrote C. S. Lewis in 1937 of his good friend J.R.R. Tolkien’s newly released book—and how right he was. Now, if you were to judge the merit of The Hobbit from the glimpses of the movie trailer you might have caught by an NYC subway entrance, you might have wrinkled your nose in distaste. I wouldn’t blame you, because the movie is chock full of digitally mastered, rip-roaring, big-boy fight scenes—and not so full of the whimsical storytelling that makes The Hobbit such a delightful read. In the book, Tolkien’s tone resembles that of an indulgent grandfather with a wicked sense of humor mixed in with a reverence for tradition and those old, ancient fairy tales and adventures which first open children’s horizons. Perhaps that is one of the things I enjoy most about The Hobbit: the way it makes you rediscover the child within you that loves dragons and elves and quests that might make you late for dinner. Bilbo Baggins’s riddle contest with Gollum, his audacious escape with the dwarves from the prisons of Mirkwood, and his general cheek and courage make for the best sort of storytelling that will never grow old, though its readers may. In short, put down what you’re reading, pick up The Hobbit, and read it with your loved ones: you’ll instantly find yourself whisked away on an unexpected journey that you’ll never be able to forget.

Gabriela Kustner, long-time Tolkien fan, is a recent Princeton grad with a degree in English who lives in New York City. 

Making the Mundane Meaningful

By Katie Robinson

Starting out in my career has often meant completing "mundane tasks"—making copies, going on coffee runs, ordering lunches, etc. Normally people would rather pass these tasks off to someone else than do them themselves, but I've always been able to approach these tasks with a different view. I owe that mindset to a college professor who planted a seed in my head. 

I remember one day when we were talking about internships during class my professor explained how coffee runs and making copies are actually important. They are a test. She went on to explain how if you can't make copies correctly no one will trust you with anything more important than that. Even the little effort you make when presenting their coffees with clean, non-dripping lids and the proper assortment of sugars laid out can illustrate your work ethic. If you take pride in what you do, then people around you see that you take your work seriously. These little details show your potential for future work with them. 

After my first full year of being officially in the workplace, that little seed my professor planted has grown into a little plant of hospitality. I've realized that every position has a sense of hospitality. I've come to describe my job as keeping people happy because of the amount of hospitality that is subtly involved in my position. It doesn't matter if I'm setting up for a small meeting or coordinating a large department celebration, the thought and effort that goes into the presentation makes a big difference.

I've seen the difference it's made in my career and on those around me. My so-called "thankless job" has become full of appreciation. The little details like remembering to have someone’s favorite soda on hand gives them the little energy they need to get through their next meeting. The neatly organized supply drawer allows people to quickly get what they need and move on. The clean workspace provides a calm environment to concentrate on the task at hand. 

The little loving improvements in hospitality create a happier and more grateful workplace. 

Katie Robinson is the Administrative Assistant for the Vice President of Production Management at Sesame Workshop and runs an advice blog called “Ask the Young Professional” where she gives advice to succeed, in and outside of work, as a savvy twentysomething.

Do you have an experience you would like to share about changing the culture in your workplace? Email us atinfo@murrayhillinstitute.org

Managing the Changing World of Work and Family

An interview with Nuria Chinchilla, author of Masters of Our Destiny

Nuria Chinchilla, a professor at the business school IESE in Barcelona, Spain, has been influential in promoting greater workplace flexibility in Spain and throughout Europe. During a recent trip to the US, she joined us at Murray Hill Institute for an Evening of Conversation and informal book signing. Alice Trimmer, of the MHI Board, interviewed her about her current work and her opinions on progress that has been made in helping women and all employees achieve more balanced lives.

In the years since 2008, when the first edition of “Masters of Our Destiny” was published, what overall progress has been made in helping women achieve life balance?

Laws have improved some women’s rights. But laws, as well as flexible corporate policies, are dead if they are not applied. In some cases, protectionist laws have resulted in a backlash for women. Work-life balance is a daily challenge. To make it real, we have to start by identifying our mission and priorities and to save some space and time in the agenda for the activities that will bring that mission forward. Balance depends on:

People: Try to become “Masters of Your Destiny.”

Family: Work-family balance is not “just for one.” It is a matter for the entire family:  spouses, children, grandparents, and others. Time management within the family is very important.

Companies: Many companies are becoming more conscious of corporate family responsibility and the need to attract and retain the best talent–talented men as well as talented women–and to help them gain trust in the company and be loyal to it. Corporate executives also want to have more balanced lives, and not only those of the Y Generation.

Society: We need legislation and budgets to support families and companies with corporate family responsibility.

Do we as women hold ourselves back by our own behaviors or reluctance to seize opportunities?

As we wrote in Female Ambition (Ed. Palgrave 2005), women meet two kinds of ceilings:

The Glass Ceiling: Men unconsciously choose and promote the persons most similar to themselves, in other words, other men (women do the same).

The Concrete Ceiling: Women themselves establish a ceiling, which can hinder them from seeking more power and accepting promotions. The concrete ceiling is not a result of lack of ambition, but rather a wider ambition to reach success in all spheres: professional, personal and social. Not every offer is seen as an opportunity by women. Personal costs are, sometimes, too high when companies are mechanistic and focus too much on short-term goals.

What is the best way to promote the self-awareness needed to set realistic goals for oneself?

The best way to promote self-awareness is by doing at least two exercises:

To know yourself: Reflect in order to gain insights and ask for feedback in order to discover your skills, competencies and potential. Having a good coach helps you to understand your abilities and capabilities and develop them.

Identifying your unique mission: This mission will be put into practice to meet needs in the professional, family, personal and social spheres. The better we know our competencies, skills and potential, the more realistic we will be about identifying our mission and reaching our goals.

Women often feel guilty taking time for themselves, even when such time would result in long-term improvements in work, social life, and family life. How can one balance one’s own need for development with those of the workplace and family? 

Many women do feel guilty about taking time for themselves. This is an emotional problem, the result of a non-integrated heart, a lack of rationality and a short-run vision. Saving time for personal development, meditation, prayer, gym, or the hairdresser is very important in order to be more useful, and to better serve our family, colleagues, and friends.

How can one become more cognizant of the need to re-prioritize responsibilities in families before some need reaches the crisis stage? Sometimes changes are so slow that they are hardly noticeable (for example, when a family member becomes more and more withdrawn, or family customs drop away because of scheduling challenges).

We become aware of the need to re-prioritize responsibilities in the family by investing time in family communication. This means identifying in a family session our mission as a family and revisiting it from time to time to see how all the members of the family are carrying out our internal and external family mission on a daily basis.

What areas are you currently focusing on in your own research and why?

Currently, I am working on the following topics:

Corporate Family Responsibility (CFR): We are studying ways to diagnose the degree of CFR in different environments within the same organization/enterprise in more than 20 countries.  Corporate environments can be: enriching, intoxicating or something in between. In a company, you have different micro-cultures depending on how policies are applied by different management styles and values. Leadership has become more and more important, because every day supervisors are the ones deciding the time and energy left for our lives after work. Have they a realistic, fair and balanced vision both of business needs and of our needs as human beings?

Women’s Advancement in Organizations:  We are studying obstacles and boosters that women encounter in their professional, family and personal trajectories.

Boards: I am a member of Vivianne Reading’s GBRW (Global Board-Ready Women) Advisory Board of the Commission of Human Rights in the EU. We have identified that the problem is not securing board positions (starting from the roof), but reaching top management positions from the middle management in organizations. The most important hindrances on the part of the corporation are the lack of responsible flexibility and not taking into account the needs that come with motherhood.

How does one plan a stable career in a workplace environment that is constantly changing and is becoming less and less secure? 

I prefer to talk about “trajectories” rather than “careers”—professional, family, social, life trajectories—because in Spanish the word “career” means to run against someone. In a changing world, stability is inside us and springs from knowing ourselves, our limits and our potential. One hundred per cent security doesn’t exist. We can achieve some security through our own values, competencies, having a purpose and a clear mission, and a determination to get things done.  Each person is unique and unrepeatable.

It has been said that to cope with today’s workplace, one needs to become more and more of an entrepreneur, even in a highly structured corporate environment. To what extent do you agree with this, and how does one develop an entrepreneurial mindset if one’s natural taste and inclinations do not lie in that direction?

Entrepreneurship is a competence for life. It is always necessary and has to be developed. Each individual approaches reality with different glasses. Being an entrepreneur means to provide your specific and unique vision and point of view and to act consequently in order to discover new opportunities whether they are in service, satisfying real needs of others or improving the products, the processes or the way we work.

What are some simple ways to bring the need for more family-friendly policies to the attention of management without seeming like a complainer?

First, we can change the term “family-friendly” to “family-responsible,” because the company has an obligation to respond to the needs of people with family responsibilities after work. Families of employees are the new stakeholders in a company. Data obtained from different studies show how greatly results improve in flexible and family-responsible environments. The figures from 23 countries gathered by the International Center for Work and for Work and Family, our research center, show that productivity increases 19% and commitment rises 300% in flexible and family-responsible environments.

For young people just finishing their education, it is increasingly difficult to find a job commensurate with their talents, education, or interests. What advice would you give a young person entering the workplace for the first time?

I would advise them to excel in service, and to put all their talents and efforts into action. Try to learn from other people in the workplace and be humble. “Don’t complain. Give thanks.”

Isolation is Never the Answer

By Teresa Carale, MHI President

Frozen, which won the Best Animated Feature film award at both the Oscar and Golden Globe, was certainly an enjoyable respite from the prolonged winter chill. In the movie, Elsa, princess of Arendelle, lives in fear and has isolated herself, trying to suppress her growing power to create ice and snow, which nearly killed her younger sister Anna. Yes, it is a movie for children. But adults should heed some of the messages the movie delivers, one of which is: that isolation is never a good response to threats or fear.

Aside from the purely pragmatic perspective of the world being so interconnected through social communications, trade, finance, etc., making isolation practically impossible, resorting to isolation from others does not make sense. It is true that relationships, which involve opening up to another or several persons (family, friends, business partners), bring a certain level of vulnerability. One can get hurt when one opens up to another. But it is a risk that a person simply has to take in order to survive, and ultimately, to be happy. Success in any endeavor hinges heavily on relationships that are built and cultivated—building teams of individuals whose talents complement each other, finding friends who are not afraid of offering different perspectives on an issue, growing in wisdom and understanding from contrary opinions from family members and others. The most enduring and successful relationships are those which involve mutual giving and a shared long-term vision of the future, resulting in the individuals’ fulfillment and happiness.

We learned a lot from the seminar “Self-Image and Purpose” that Kim Millman gave in January. Self-image could refer to how one sees herself, but often it refers to how she perceives others see her. A negative self-image can push a person towards isolation, a black hole of sorts that is almost impossible to escape. On the other hand, a positive self-image gives a person tremendous potential to do good. One is better able to be a protagonist in making the world a better place if one is aware of and comfortable with her talents, capabilities, and yes, her limitations. It is precisely the awareness of these talents and limitations that opens her up to relationships—others can supply what she does not have, and together, they can do so much.

At the end of the movie Frozen, Elsa abandons her self-imposed isolation and opens herself up to a relationship with her sister. Furthermore, she promises Anna she will never shut the castle gates again, being open to everyone. And they all lived happily ever after. May this become true for us as well.